she would like a japanese to english translator

*portrait of my night sweater, edited to look worse than in reality.

*sentences that stuck to my mind today:
1. "Don't think of it as us breaking up, think of it as us being happy again."
2. "If only I could google translate your signals. At least thus I'd know why I'm getting such mixed messages from you."
3. "My horniness is so much classier when you're around."

*the reason I want a japanese translator is so they can read me Murakami's 1Q84.