variations

The Wonder Years

A random memory: having snowed heavier than usual, we got a few days off school. some friends who lived in the same apartment block and I went exploring. i was six years old at the time. they were a couple of years older than me and, although I felt like a sheep, I was delighted to tag along. we walked along a dubious little street, a path we had never been down, and after some time arrived at a kindergarten. we hid behind the bushes near the fence. i felt weird. then the kindergarten bell ran, presumably for a break, and one of the boys suggested we all get stones and throw it at the kids as they come out. I felt ill at the idea, because 1. that’s not nice and as someone recently out of kindergarten I wouldn’t want that happen to me, 2. I tend to exaggerate all my visuals in my head and I could see my rock hitting the forehead of some poor three year old girl making her bleed and forcing me to go to jail, never to see my parents again. by the time I looked back at them they all had a few rocks in each hand and were telling me to hurry up. I was six and wanted to fit in. I grabbed two next to my feet, and inhaled deeply. am I even allowed to say no? all of a sudden the kindy kids started running out and one of the boys counted, “1, 2… 3!” at that point, I saw the other rocks fly across the fence, I panicked and thought the easiest way out of this was to throw… badly. I threw a little to my left and it landed only two meters away, not even over the fence. as it landed pathetically I heard the boys moan in disgust, but in unison we all turned around and started sprinting, I could hear a few kids exclaim to a teacher some people were throwing rocks, followed by a teacher running to the fence and yelling at us nuisances, oh I hope those kids don’t grow up and end up like us. I felt so scared, my heart was thumping, wanting to leave. maybe the kindy teacher will be a really slow runner, and can never catch up? we ran and ran till the kindergarten became out of sight. we sat down by the benches in front of our apartment block, all breathing heavily, the boys laughed, and made fun of my throw. I pretended to be embarrassed, but really I was happy that I didn’t hit anyone and wouldn’t go to jail. I don’t remember hanging out with them again after, and spent the rest of the break watching some drama about two sisters who can turn into snakes.